There are things I'm not ready to talk about. Because i don't want to admit to myself just yet how i really about it all. Even though its spilling out into my body and making me a little sad now and then. So for now I'll skirt the issue. or maybe it'll emerge as i get more ballsy while i write this.
I think I've changed. I think i need different things. But i know i still need that love. Not so much what I've come to expect from the past version of him. But a new need that consists of less neediness and more core type stuff. It's hard to explain. I don't need someone to fix my problems like i used to. I need someone to be a friend and a companion. a real person i can do things with.
more on that later i guess since I'm tired of crying about it.
I'm lonely. just tyring to fill the void. just trying to find those pieces of myself to make me more whole. i went about it the wrong way at first, which I'll probably post another time. but now I'm ready to do things that enrich and fulfill me.
i need good, positive experiences that help me grow and learn, not crash and burn.
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